Thursday, October 27, 2005

Europe or Yurrop???

Is it Europe or Yurrop?

The European Commission has just announced an agreement wherebyEnglish will be the official language of the European nation ratherthan German which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded thatEnglish spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this willmake the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped infavour of the "k".

This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one lessletter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond yearwhen the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This willmake words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expektedto reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which havealways ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that thehoribl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and itshould go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan bedropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav areil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tuunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.


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